Showing posts with label womanhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label womanhood. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Finding a man to lead a Bible Study.
What does a woman do if its on her heart to get a group of people together in community to grow in Christ, to grow and study the bible together. The scripture is very clear that a woman cannot lead a bible study where there both men and woman. So what can a woman do if this is on her heart.
First, prayer asking got to raise a man to lead. I think this is one of the most powerful things. And God will definitely hear this prayer if you patiently wait on Him.
Some possible other things that you can do is
- talk to the pastor, elders, deacons and ask him to find a man to lead it.
- encourage the men around you to lead. Ask them to lead. This is a skill that many women need to learn. Ask God and He will give you wisdom on how to encourage the men around you to lead.
- continue to pray. Get the women together and pray earnestly for this
- Don't lead or teach over men. God is a God of His word. Not only would it be sin to lead or teach over men, but your stating God is not a God of His word and you can't trust Him. You can trust Him. Don't do things your way.
As I search the word on this, the reason God would not have a woman lead or teach over men in this situation is because He has something greater in mind. He wants to strengthen the church. And it is a powerful thing, where you have a church with women who are earnestly praying. Be patient, wait on the Lord, trust His timing. These women will have more influence and more honor and more respect than if they took it upon themselves instead of allowing God to take control.
First, prayer asking got to raise a man to lead. I think this is one of the most powerful things. And God will definitely hear this prayer if you patiently wait on Him.
Some possible other things that you can do is
- talk to the pastor, elders, deacons and ask him to find a man to lead it.
- encourage the men around you to lead. Ask them to lead. This is a skill that many women need to learn. Ask God and He will give you wisdom on how to encourage the men around you to lead.
- continue to pray. Get the women together and pray earnestly for this
- Don't lead or teach over men. God is a God of His word. Not only would it be sin to lead or teach over men, but your stating God is not a God of His word and you can't trust Him. You can trust Him. Don't do things your way.
As I search the word on this, the reason God would not have a woman lead or teach over men in this situation is because He has something greater in mind. He wants to strengthen the church. And it is a powerful thing, where you have a church with women who are earnestly praying. Be patient, wait on the Lord, trust His timing. These women will have more influence and more honor and more respect than if they took it upon themselves instead of allowing God to take control.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
"The greatest influence on earth whether for good or for evil, is possessed by woman."
Future Homemakers¹
Nicole Whitacre
As a young woman, I often lay in bed at night and wondered about my future. I stared hard into the darkness, as if God had put the answers there. I had a longing to do great things for God. I imagined myself as a missionary in another country, maybe even a nurse. (I assumed my tendency to faint at the sight of blood would not be a problem.) I had visions of speaking to crowds of women, leading many to the gospel.
What I didn't yet understand was that God's plan for me was greater than what my imagination could conjure up. It was also very different than what I thought.
How about you? What are your dreams and aspirations for your future? How do you answer the well-meaning adults who ask about your plans after high school?
It may surprise you to learn that God in the Bible has already given you a sneak peek into your future. As women, we are all appointed to be keepers of the home (Prov 31:10-31; 1 Tim 5:14; Titus 2:5). Someday you may be called to love a husband and bring up children and make a home for them. Or as a single woman, you may be entrusted with a home from which you extend hospitality and vital service to your church and community. While you may pursue many other God-honoring tasks or occupations throughout your lifetime, you are also called to be a homemaker.
This is our purpose in life, what John Angell James calls a "woman's mission"—to "affect society through the medium of family influence."2 You see, being feminine isn't just who we are; it's also what we do. Our feminine identity comes with a unique task: to change the world by devoting ourselves to home life.
Now this does not mean that the Bible confines girls and women to their homes. The Proverbs 31 woman—the ideal homemaker—pursued endeavors outside of the home for the good of her family. And, of course, single women will have careers that require them to work beyond the home. But Scripture unapologetically sets forth the high priority of the home for each and every woman.
Although this is our clear mission from God, not many young women aspire to be homemakers these days. While there are many other worthy careers they may consider, homemaking isn't usually on the list of desirable options.
However, it wasn't so long ago that women thought differently about homemaking. As author Danielle Crittenden points out, "Whether it's the pleasure of being a wife or of raising children or of making a home—[these] were, until the day before yesterday, considered the most natural things in the world."3 Today the most natural thing in the world is for girls to consider any career except that of homemaker. So what happened? When did homemaking fall off the radar screen for young women?
To make a very long story short, forty years ago a revolution known as the feminist movement set out to "liberate" our mothers' generation from being tied down to the home. And part and parcel of the feminist message was "a disdain of domesticity and a contempt for housewives."4
And there is perhaps no greater measurement of the success of feminism than the fact that our generation no longer considers homemaking a viable career. As my mom has written, "Feminist philosophy has become thoroughly integrated into the values of mainstream society—so much so, that it has been absorbed and applied by the majority of women, even many who do not consider themselves feminist."5 The feminist revolution is not a revolution anymore; it's simply a way of life.
While motherhood has made a comeback in the ratings of late—and only as a worthy interlude in an otherwise successful career—homemaking in its full scope remains unpopular. Thus you may not have thought of housewives (a term usually employed while looking down on someone) as being world-changers before. But looks can be deceiving. True greatness isn't always flashy or attention-grabbing when it arrives on the scene. I didn't see it at first either.
My mom is a homemaker. I grew up with a living model of a woman who utilized all her intelligence, creativity, and energy to create a home and care for her husband and children. But I didn't always fully appreciate the true significance of her chosen career.
Sure, I wanted to get married and have kids someday and have a home of my own, but I lacked a biblical understanding and vision of the importance and priority of my future calling. However, Mom did not allow me to remain ignorant for long. Through Scripture, hours of conversations, and helpful books, she presented to me the noble calling of a homemaker and its powerful effect in the world.
I learned that, as John Angell James wrote, quoting Adolphe Monod, "The greatest influence on earth whether for good or for evil, is possessed by woman."6 Modern-day pastor John MacArthur echoes his sentiment:
The family might survive the problems with children and husband-fathers if the women who are wives and mothers were faithful to their godly calling. Their influence is so strong and pervasive in the home that it can mitigate the other influences. . . . when a wife and mother fulfills her God-given duty, she acts as a barrier against that family's dishonoring God and His Word.7
Mom not only taught me of the power of a homemaker's influence in the world but about the fulfilling nature of her job. Dorothy Patterson elaborates,
Homemaking, if pursued with energy, imagination, and skills, has as much challenge and opportunity, success and failure, growth and expansion, perks and incentives as any corporation, plus something no other position offers—working for people you love most and want to please the most!8
Through my mother's example and training, I caught a vision of the importance of my future mission. I knew that whether or not I got married, and no matter what other tasks God might have for me, I wanted to fulfill my biblical calling to be a "keeper of the home."
Today, although I may not be doing important works by society's standards, I am doing great things for God, by His grace. Although God did not call me to be a missionary in another country, I am able to share the gospel with my little boy, Jack. While I may not be an encouragement to thousands, I can pray for and encourage Steve, the godly man who is my husband. And I finally realized that I wasn't cut out to be a nurse, but each and every day I have the opportunity to serve the church and reach out to the community, all from the base of my home.
I know many other women, married and single, who are quietly and without fanfare starting a counterrevolution. They are intelligent, talented, godly visionaries who are seeking to change their world by answering God's call to be homemakers.
Carolyn McCulley is one such single woman. She has turned her back on the feminist ideology she formerly embraced and now enthusiastically serves others through her home. While she holds down a demanding job, she also thrives on hosting singles and married couples alike in her home for fellowship or evangelism (and even gourmet meals!). She loves to have children—especially her nieces and nephews—spend the night. In fact, Carolyn has recently written a book to encourage other single women to embrace God's feminine design.9
Another revolutionary is my friend, Jonalee Earles, a young wife and mother. She was a straight-A student in high school who went on to study interior design and could have had her pick of career options. However, she's chosen to invest her creative talent into making a pleasant and delightful home for her husband and their three small children. Jonalee is a wonderful wife, an exceptional mom, and a skilled and artistic homemaker. In her spare time she helps other women decorate their homes.
Stephanie Pyle is a future homemaker. A bright college student at the local university, she does not hesitate to tell others that she hopes to make use of her degree as a wife and mother someday. Her fellow students are perplexed but curious. Stephanie is a young woman who has a clear vision of the importance of the home.
Carolyn, Jonalee, and Stephanie are participating in what one person called "the great task of renovating the world":
Even if we cannot reform the world in a moment, we can begin the work by reforming ourselves and our households—It is woman's mission. Let her not look away from her own little family circle for the means of producing moral and social reforms, but begin at home.10
You want to join us? I must warn you that the world will not applaud you. Or worse, they may look down on you and criticize you. I guarantee there won't be awards given out for homemakers—at least, not in this world. And we probably won't see the effects right away. But our influence will surely outlast our lives.
Actually you don't have to wait until a future day or time to get started on your mission. You can begin today. My mom, Carolyn Mahaney, will tell you how in the following article. But for the moment, consider: When the next person asks about your plans after high school, how will you respond? Will you join the vast number of women who have tossed away the keys to the home? Or will you join the homemaker's mission to change the world with the gospel?
Endnotes
1 From Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre, copyright 2005, pages 143-48. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60187, www.crossway.com.
2 John Angell James, Female Piety: A Young Woman's Friend and Guide (Morgan, PA: Soli Deo Gloria, 1860, repr. 1995), 91-92.
3 Danielle Crittenden, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1999), 22.
4 F. Carolyn Graglia, Domestic Tranquility (Dallas, TX: Spence, 1998), 92.
5 Carolyn Mahaney, Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2003), 103.
6 James, Female Piety, 72.
7 John MacArthur, Foreword to Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock, Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God, (Chicago: Moody, 2003), 12.
8 Dorothy Patterson, "The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective," in Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood (ed. John Piper and Wayne Grudem; Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1991), 377.
9 Carolyn McCulley, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with A Hope Deferred (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2004).
10 Barbara Welter, "The Cult of True Womanhood: 1820-1860," American Quarterly, 18 (Summer 1966), 53, 174; quoted in Susan Hunt, The True Woman (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1997), 24.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Question from my womanhood blog
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hey- i got to your blog thru a___. quick question- what about a theological discussion around the table, at a meal or gathering? do you think that it is biblically wrong for a woman to engage with a man other than her husband about theology -whether her husband is present or not? is it wrong for me to ask you this question thru blogging? should i have asked my husband first? thanks-
- June 20, 2008 9:38 AM
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That’s a good question. When I wrote these things on women, I wanted to get at the raw meaning of what the scripture is saying. Not necessarily figure out all the practical aspects of it, but to just find out, “what is it saying?”, because I know that God is wiser than I am, and I can trust Him at his word, and that it is a good thing to obey Him. I also wanted to know because; I didn’t want to ask something of women that God was not asking. I will be honest with you I am still wrestling with this specific verse, trying to get at the core of what it is saying and what it means practically for us. I tend to approach scripture like Jacob when he wrestled with God. I wrestle with it and chew on it till God shows me what it means. This verse is such a sensitive topic, so I don’t want to come to a quick conclusion. But what I have written on 1 Corinthians 14 is what has come out of my wrestling with the verse so far. The scriptures are pretty clear that a woman ought to express “theology” or “who God is” in all that she does, whether actions or words. Anyone who would interpret 1 Corinthians 14 as saying that women should be weak or not express who God is has not really studied the scripture on this issue. And no I do not think that she has to ask her husband every time she expresses who God is in her life. I think we have to be careful of bringing our cultural perspective, or any cultural perspective, into our understanding of the verses on women. Also we must be careful not to have an “either . . . or” mentality. As with many things the things of the Kingdom of God do not fit into these things. Women our both to be strong in their expression of theology both in their words and in their actions with men and they are also supposed to support the leadership of men, especially that of their husbands. I don’t think these are exclusive things.
Since Paul uses scripture as his reasoning for saying this (specifically to women) and later says it’s the Lord’s command, we cannot just ignore these verses. We must obey it. I do think it will take some learning on how to live these verses out practically, one to get our own assumptions on what this looks like out of the way, and two to learn to live out what the Kingdom of God has for us. My hope is to get people to start believing in the scripture and then once they do ask how we are to obey it.
Here is what I have come up with so far on the practical side of these verses, although I have not settled on a conclusion. The church is meant to be lead not only by pastors, elders, and deacons, but as families come into the church the father is to represent his family within the church and provide godly leadership. These verses reflect that: fathers rising up and taking responsibility to see that their homes are the Lord’s, teaching their family about the ways of the Lord. So I think this is the overall lesson of these verses: Women, what can you do to establish the godly leadership of your husband in your home. This is the over arching principle in whatever situation you find you self in, whether in the church meeting or out of it (1 Corinthians 11).
Specifically, this verse refers to meeting as a church (whether small group meeting or a Sunday service). I don’t think this means that a women cannot talk about God openly in her daily actions. In fact, I think that is the essence of womanhood, to express God in all she does whether by words or actions. So as long as she is supporting her husband’s leadership and is not in an authoritative or teaching position over men, I would not put any restrictions on her outside the church, as long as it is done with a gentle and quiet spirit (don’t put cultural connotations on this). I think an example of this is Aquila and Priscilla with Apollos. This was a one on one interaction with Apollos, and although I am sure they probably mostly talked with him together, I also wouldn’t be surprised if there were times for example Priscilla was working around the house and praising God and talking with Apollo on how great God is and about theology. We also know that Paul and Jesus talked with women. I think that theology should be part of a regular discussion among Christians (Col 3:16). What better thing to talk about then the glories of God as a part of normal discussion. I don’t think these verses are restricting that by any means.
I do think, though, within church or small group meetings there should be strong leadership from the men. And that this restriction focuses on that. I believe that these verses are putting the responsibility on direction, teaching, authority, and judgment on the men, because when that happens the church is stronger. It is not saying that women must be totally silence, because we see that in 1 Corinthians 11, Acts 1-2, and so on, but when it comes to the things above they are to be silent. I will be honest with you; I am still wrestling at this point. I also have the questions of “What is this supposed to look like?” And when I say these things, I also have a strong reaction like most people (because I come to it with my cultural expectations of what that looks like), but I am not interested in what I have say about it or what feel, but instead I want to submit to the word of God; “was it from [me] that the word of God came?” I do have more ideas about this verse, which are interesting and hopefully will be helpful, but I am still chewing on it waiting on the Lord to give me the answer, but I think what it comes down to is that we have to surrender to God in this and say, “I know you have something good here, your Word is God breathed and is for our good. God show us what you mean here and how we can practically live it out.” And He is good, and I think we will find in His word so much more than we expected or dreamed.
July 2007 - Response to ladies questions
This was written in response to questions the ladies gave the men in Lifegroup. (written July 18, 2007)
1. If you could say one thing to encourage the ladies in LG, what would you say?
I have sisters and I want them to know that they are beautiful. Ladies, I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are captivating.
2. If you could say one thing to challenge the ladies in LG, what would you say?
The scripture is the Voice of God, it is so good. . . .Embrace godly and scriptural womanhood. . . . Ladies, don’t be caught in the trappings and oppression of our culture, to which we are no longer a part. Feed on God’s faithfulness, it challenges women to be so much more than our culture and to have more influence in the church, ministry, and the world, then they often do because the churches have bought into the culture. What God has for you is so good. Learn from Him, He is gentle and humble of heart.
3. How can the ladies in LG serve and honor you as men better? (be honest – they’re not going to know who wrote what)
I have often heard women (and men) make fun of the verses regarding women being in silence. These verses state within themselves that they are based on the authority of the command of Christ, the scripture, the apostleship of Paul, the design of God in creating women at Creation before sin entered the world, and the fact that they are scripture themselves. Based on this authority, they should not be taken lightly or laughed at. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Elsewhere it says, “Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest? For all those things My hand has made, And all those things exist, Says the LORD. But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word”. What ever your opinion is on these verses, they are scripture and they are based on strong authority, don’t take them lightly. If you really want to know what these verses mean, come as a child and believe your Father, trust Him. He is good and you might be surprised by what you find. Ladies, I say this because God’s vision for womanhood is bigger than mine or yours or anyone else’s. . . . Now, how does this relate to honoring men? Well, that is what makes it great. God has a lot of wonderful things to show you, if you are willing to learn and obey. Living out what God has for you is the best way you can honor us.
4. Why is it important to you as a man that the ladies seek God everyday?
Women are vital to the church and my own walk with the Lord. I need them to be close to the Lord. I need their godly influence in my life.
5. Why is it important to you that they walk in purity?
I want a wife who will walk with me in purity and passion. Purity is not something that ends when you get married. I am also a romantic and I want to be able to share that part of my life with only one woman. Also impurity brings shame and brings areas where you don’t feel you can be vulnerable and “naked”. I want to be able to be “naked and unashamed” with my wife.
Just a side comment, I know enough women to know that even though you may not struggle with lust in the same way men do, women do struggle and have bought into cultural perspectives that are not scriptural. Please fight to walk in purity not just in action, but in how you view and relate to men. When I said that I want a wife who is pure, I don’t just mean physically, but that she has a godly mindset in how she treats other men.
Another thing, please be modest. It is very awkward to talk with a woman, when if you look at and focus on her face, more is showing in your field of vision, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. I hate that. I want to feel like I can talk to a woman without seeing more than I want to and dishonoring her.
I think it is similar to what I said at first, the men in the church need women who will walk in purity with them.
6. If you had to pick some character qualities you wish the ladies in LG exemplified more of, what would they be?
The characteristic that I would like to see in the women of our life group is a desire for biblical womanhood. I would like to see them develop a deep hunger for God’s heart for femininity and to grow in maturity. I would like to see them challenge each other to be women after God’s own heart.
7. How would you as a man define womanhood or femininity (what is “lady-like” to you)?
I could list a lot of traits that I find beautiful in woman and lady-like, but my views and what I like are my own and although I think they express femininity well, the scripture alone can define femininity. To define femininity, I would encourage you to forget any cultural perspective you or anyone else might have and look at the scriptures, all of them; (I have several pages of them), and meditate on them. Know how femininity is defined in the culture of the Kingdom of God.
We all know Proverbs 31; it is a good place to start. I know some will try to idealize it, which is really ridiculous when you understand it. It is a very realistic view into the heart and practical lifestyle of a godly woman and has so many insights for us, today. A key scripture elsewhere says that a woman builds her home. Another scripture is 1 Peter 3, “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” And there is more . . . daughters of the King, study God’s heart for you. Let His words wash over you.
8. At any given LG, what practically can the ladies do to bless you more? (engage in worship, dance with flags, etc…)
Believe in us as men and treat us like men. Trust us. Please, allow us to lead. Ladies, we desire to be a covering for you and we desire to honor you as men. Believe that we can honor and protect you. We so much desire to be this, give us opportunities.
One little thing you can do to help us is after life group don’t walk to you cars alone; allow us to walk you to your car. (I am not getting on to you for this, this is our responsibility, I am just showing you a way you can practically show us that you value us). Most of the time I don’t notice when women walk out (I’ll work on this), so if no man is there to walk you out, let us know that you are leaving and need someone to walk you out. That would be a huge help. If we are talking to someone interrupt us, its ok.
The key to a man’s heart is respect. As we, men, want to find ways to let you know that you are loved, find ways like this that tell us that you do believe in and respect us as men and that you appreciate our covering over you.
9. What is your biggest pet-peeve about the ladies right now?
This is not what bothers me the most (that would probably be not valuing God’s word), but it fits more in the pet-peeve category probably than anything else. Many of you have stated that you desire men to lead, but often when women wait for men to lead out, it is at the most only a few minutes and often only seconds. There are many times where I was about to step out to lead, but then was not able to because of this (and I am not the only one this has happened to). So I hear women asking for men to lead out, but then declining to be patient and wait for them to lead. Do you really believe in the men in life group? Are there women who are willing to wait for months in silence and prayer, not leading out, and praying and waiting for men to lead, because they believe in the men and in their ability to lead, and trust that the Lord will raise them up? I would like to see such women in the church, women who are strong, women who believe in the men, and are willing support the men of the church in a very real way, not just with words. The scripture says that this strength will change an ungodly man’s heart. . . . It will change ours.
Please hear me in this. I know you do want men to lead and I do believe you do want to be women who support the men in the church. I know you strongly desire to build up the men in life group. You wrote us and challenged us to lead. And I thank you so much for that. And it encouraged me. I think we are just both learning how to live this out, how to live out manhood and womanhood in the church, and that’s ok, as long as we are walking toward God in this. Be willing to listen to God’s word in learning how to encourage us as men, all of it.
One of the things you can do to bless us practically is just refuse to lead. . . . Wait for the men to lead out in life group, no matter how long it takes. Ladies, allow us to learn to lead.
I know this can be hard. I know we as men need to step it up and we often fail you. We don’t always lead as we should. I know I don’t. Let us learn. Let us even fail at times. We will mess up and be faulty, but we will learn. Be patient. You don’t have to take up the slack, you can trust God. Don’t step out and lead, wait for us to do so in life group, even if it takes a long time. I think often that many of us have such a fear that God cannot speak to His church and so we step out ahead of God and hinder God’s work. Good things may still happen (God is so gracious to us), but we miss out on God’s best. God is a patient God and He is capable. And He will do things according to His word, not in spite of it.
Also know that as men, we often want to lead, but feel so unworthy to lead or to speak or even to pray. Many of us are also deeply hurt. Allow God to work on our hearts and wait; don’t lead. There are men who desire to be men, you can trust us. Prayer is an amazing thing, pray for us.
10. Feel free to send a message to the ladies in LG…write anything you’d like them to hear:
God has uniquely designed you as women. We as men are amazed by the gifts that God has given you. And we admire the strengths that you uniquely have as women. Women are amazing! You are beautiful. You are captivating. We want to walk along side you and build you up in the Lord and honor you as men.
1. If you could say one thing to encourage the ladies in LG, what would you say?
I have sisters and I want them to know that they are beautiful. Ladies, I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are captivating.
2. If you could say one thing to challenge the ladies in LG, what would you say?
The scripture is the Voice of God, it is so good. . . .Embrace godly and scriptural womanhood. . . . Ladies, don’t be caught in the trappings and oppression of our culture, to which we are no longer a part. Feed on God’s faithfulness, it challenges women to be so much more than our culture and to have more influence in the church, ministry, and the world, then they often do because the churches have bought into the culture. What God has for you is so good. Learn from Him, He is gentle and humble of heart.
3. How can the ladies in LG serve and honor you as men better? (be honest – they’re not going to know who wrote what)
I have often heard women (and men) make fun of the verses regarding women being in silence. These verses state within themselves that they are based on the authority of the command of Christ, the scripture, the apostleship of Paul, the design of God in creating women at Creation before sin entered the world, and the fact that they are scripture themselves. Based on this authority, they should not be taken lightly or laughed at. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Elsewhere it says, “Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest? For all those things My hand has made, And all those things exist, Says the LORD. But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word”. What ever your opinion is on these verses, they are scripture and they are based on strong authority, don’t take them lightly. If you really want to know what these verses mean, come as a child and believe your Father, trust Him. He is good and you might be surprised by what you find. Ladies, I say this because God’s vision for womanhood is bigger than mine or yours or anyone else’s. . . . Now, how does this relate to honoring men? Well, that is what makes it great. God has a lot of wonderful things to show you, if you are willing to learn and obey. Living out what God has for you is the best way you can honor us.
4. Why is it important to you as a man that the ladies seek God everyday?
Women are vital to the church and my own walk with the Lord. I need them to be close to the Lord. I need their godly influence in my life.
5. Why is it important to you that they walk in purity?
I want a wife who will walk with me in purity and passion. Purity is not something that ends when you get married. I am also a romantic and I want to be able to share that part of my life with only one woman. Also impurity brings shame and brings areas where you don’t feel you can be vulnerable and “naked”. I want to be able to be “naked and unashamed” with my wife.
Just a side comment, I know enough women to know that even though you may not struggle with lust in the same way men do, women do struggle and have bought into cultural perspectives that are not scriptural. Please fight to walk in purity not just in action, but in how you view and relate to men. When I said that I want a wife who is pure, I don’t just mean physically, but that she has a godly mindset in how she treats other men.
Another thing, please be modest. It is very awkward to talk with a woman, when if you look at and focus on her face, more is showing in your field of vision, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. I hate that. I want to feel like I can talk to a woman without seeing more than I want to and dishonoring her.
I think it is similar to what I said at first, the men in the church need women who will walk in purity with them.
6. If you had to pick some character qualities you wish the ladies in LG exemplified more of, what would they be?
The characteristic that I would like to see in the women of our life group is a desire for biblical womanhood. I would like to see them develop a deep hunger for God’s heart for femininity and to grow in maturity. I would like to see them challenge each other to be women after God’s own heart.
7. How would you as a man define womanhood or femininity (what is “lady-like” to you)?
I could list a lot of traits that I find beautiful in woman and lady-like, but my views and what I like are my own and although I think they express femininity well, the scripture alone can define femininity. To define femininity, I would encourage you to forget any cultural perspective you or anyone else might have and look at the scriptures, all of them; (I have several pages of them), and meditate on them. Know how femininity is defined in the culture of the Kingdom of God.
We all know Proverbs 31; it is a good place to start. I know some will try to idealize it, which is really ridiculous when you understand it. It is a very realistic view into the heart and practical lifestyle of a godly woman and has so many insights for us, today. A key scripture elsewhere says that a woman builds her home. Another scripture is 1 Peter 3, “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” And there is more . . . daughters of the King, study God’s heart for you. Let His words wash over you.
8. At any given LG, what practically can the ladies do to bless you more? (engage in worship, dance with flags, etc…)
Believe in us as men and treat us like men. Trust us. Please, allow us to lead. Ladies, we desire to be a covering for you and we desire to honor you as men. Believe that we can honor and protect you. We so much desire to be this, give us opportunities.
One little thing you can do to help us is after life group don’t walk to you cars alone; allow us to walk you to your car. (I am not getting on to you for this, this is our responsibility, I am just showing you a way you can practically show us that you value us). Most of the time I don’t notice when women walk out (I’ll work on this), so if no man is there to walk you out, let us know that you are leaving and need someone to walk you out. That would be a huge help. If we are talking to someone interrupt us, its ok.
The key to a man’s heart is respect. As we, men, want to find ways to let you know that you are loved, find ways like this that tell us that you do believe in and respect us as men and that you appreciate our covering over you.
9. What is your biggest pet-peeve about the ladies right now?
This is not what bothers me the most (that would probably be not valuing God’s word), but it fits more in the pet-peeve category probably than anything else. Many of you have stated that you desire men to lead, but often when women wait for men to lead out, it is at the most only a few minutes and often only seconds. There are many times where I was about to step out to lead, but then was not able to because of this (and I am not the only one this has happened to). So I hear women asking for men to lead out, but then declining to be patient and wait for them to lead. Do you really believe in the men in life group? Are there women who are willing to wait for months in silence and prayer, not leading out, and praying and waiting for men to lead, because they believe in the men and in their ability to lead, and trust that the Lord will raise them up? I would like to see such women in the church, women who are strong, women who believe in the men, and are willing support the men of the church in a very real way, not just with words. The scripture says that this strength will change an ungodly man’s heart. . . . It will change ours.
Please hear me in this. I know you do want men to lead and I do believe you do want to be women who support the men in the church. I know you strongly desire to build up the men in life group. You wrote us and challenged us to lead. And I thank you so much for that. And it encouraged me. I think we are just both learning how to live this out, how to live out manhood and womanhood in the church, and that’s ok, as long as we are walking toward God in this. Be willing to listen to God’s word in learning how to encourage us as men, all of it.
One of the things you can do to bless us practically is just refuse to lead. . . . Wait for the men to lead out in life group, no matter how long it takes. Ladies, allow us to learn to lead.
I know this can be hard. I know we as men need to step it up and we often fail you. We don’t always lead as we should. I know I don’t. Let us learn. Let us even fail at times. We will mess up and be faulty, but we will learn. Be patient. You don’t have to take up the slack, you can trust God. Don’t step out and lead, wait for us to do so in life group, even if it takes a long time. I think often that many of us have such a fear that God cannot speak to His church and so we step out ahead of God and hinder God’s work. Good things may still happen (God is so gracious to us), but we miss out on God’s best. God is a patient God and He is capable. And He will do things according to His word, not in spite of it.
Also know that as men, we often want to lead, but feel so unworthy to lead or to speak or even to pray. Many of us are also deeply hurt. Allow God to work on our hearts and wait; don’t lead. There are men who desire to be men, you can trust us. Prayer is an amazing thing, pray for us.
10. Feel free to send a message to the ladies in LG…write anything you’d like them to hear:
God has uniquely designed you as women. We as men are amazed by the gifts that God has given you. And we admire the strengths that you uniquely have as women. Women are amazing! You are beautiful. You are captivating. We want to walk along side you and build you up in the Lord and honor you as men.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wait on your knees for the Lord for a husband
I wrote earlier about a man finding a wife on his knees. A woman must wait to give her heart to her husband on her knees as well. I think with all the false ideas it is easy to be swept away by a man who is not a man who will be a safe place for your heart. It is so easy to buy the false claim that charm and beauty will satisfy the deepest longings of our heart.
I think there are men who are emotional and run after a woman with romanticized gestures winning a woman's heart through appearances that fade. I think there are other men who wait on the Lord, refusing to capture a woman's heart through romanticized gestures, but instead seeking to build her up through words and actions that don't fade away. These men are sometimes more romantic, but choose not to win a woman by those means, because they want to protect the women around them to be a safe place. They also want to learn to have healthy relationships with other women and still remain faithful to his wife, even while he is single.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. Find a man who delights in the Lord.
I think there are men who are emotional and run after a woman with romanticized gestures winning a woman's heart through appearances that fade. I think there are other men who wait on the Lord, refusing to capture a woman's heart through romanticized gestures, but instead seeking to build her up through words and actions that don't fade away. These men are sometimes more romantic, but choose not to win a woman by those means, because they want to protect the women around them to be a safe place. They also want to learn to have healthy relationships with other women and still remain faithful to his wife, even while he is single.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. Find a man who delights in the Lord.
Monday, February 16, 2009
". . . who is more to you than seven sons"
A letter from the guys at my church to the girls at my church for valentines:
Women Theologians
Ladies,
As men, we can read the passages such as 1Timothy 2:9-15 or Corinthians 14:33-38 and see in them only restrictions on women. We can react and say, “You have to obey this rule and this restriction”. Although there is a reason for these verses, and we must take them very seriously, if this is our attitude we don’t understand these verses. These verses are not there to give us an attitude of “placing restrictions on women”; these verses instead challenge us as men to lead and honor the women around us.
We can look at the scriptures and see God’s heart for women. A Godly woman is described with eloquence and dignity throughout. We have women like Sarah, Ruth, and Esther, and many more who stand out in the history of Israel. We watch and listen as Jesus treats women with honor. They were always near ministering to him, and he to them. Paul walked with the women around him, relying on the gifts that God had given them. And there is so much more, but for times sake, I am barely even touching the surface of how the scripture describes the beauty of women. My point is I don’t believe that the majority of heroes of the faith should be men. As we see these scriptures opened up and obeyed we will see the churches littered with the heroines of the faith. There is no place for any thought that women have less to offer. The Bible screams against this and rebukes any man who contemplates this. It is not God’s heart to put restrictions on women. In the scriptures, He has provided an amazing protection of the beauty and the expressiveness that only a woman can provide. It is God’s heart for a woman to bloom, under the nourishment and protection of His word.
Our pastor has recently been talking about how Mary’s act of anointing Jesus before His death was a powerful and poignant act. In that act, one women out-theologized all the many men that were in the room. If anyone thinks because a women cannot preach or teach, she has less expression of theology they are wrong. Christ made it clear, what this woman had done would be told everywhere the Gospel was preached. By her act she has challenged both men and women over the ages wherever the Gospel has been preached. Jesus had no intention to limit this woman’s expression of theology . . . nor do the scriptures.
As men, God has called us to lead in the church, but we’d be a fool if we thought we were more than what we are, fellow servants in the Lord, co-laborers in the gospel of God’s grace, with no more influence and strength then the women around us. What Mary did was powerful and meaningful. And she out shone the men around her. A woman can express theology and influence the direction of the church in a way that a man could never do. The church cannot be all God has called it to be without the women, co-laboring with the men.
God has called us men to lead, but He has also called us to honor and cherish the women in our lives. Peter tells husbands that if they do not honor and value their wives, their prayers will not be heard. I don’t believe this just applies to a husband and a wife. If we as men do not honor and cherish the women in our church, we are in danger of having our prayers not heard. A woman has a desire to be captivating and God has left her with a means for that desire to be filled. A woman shouldn’t have to force herself on us to show her theological insight. No, instead as men, we should treat women as captivating and valued. We should seek out what their hearts and what their ideas are. We should be in awe of the insight that God has given women.
Sisters, as your brothers, we want to learn how to encourage you to express theology in the fullness of being a woman and to treat you with the eloquence and dignity that the scriptures dictate. We want you to feel valued and cherished. We want to fight for you with our prayers and actions. Not by convention; by loving you like Jesus, laying our lives down, letting our lives point to one who is truly Romantic, your Savior and Lord. May we be stripped away, so that you will see Jesus. Be patient, we still have a lot to learn, but we pursuing to learn more and grow together through God’s stunning grace in becoming men who treat you with honor, and with God’s help we will. He will grant what He commands . . . by grace alone.
May Our Eyes Always Be Upon Jesus
(written by Landon Lewis)
May our eyes always be upon Jesus,
The founder and perfecter of our faith,
So that we may not grow weary or faint
As we attempt each day to run the race.
Do not grant our eyes the chance to wander
Lest we will give in to the temptation
To stop and marvel at our endurance
Or cringe at our lack of motivation.
Direct our eyes to the one who came down
And though tempted to quit, ran for His church
In perfect, perpetual righteousness
And endured the cross to finish the work.
As our eyes behold your Son’s bloody stripes
May we rest in His race and perfect time
Because it is His hands that will carry us
And His legs that have crossed the finish line.
May God cultivate and bring your heart to full bloom,
Your brothers
Women Theologians
Ladies,
As men, we can read the passages such as 1Timothy 2:9-15 or Corinthians 14:33-38 and see in them only restrictions on women. We can react and say, “You have to obey this rule and this restriction”. Although there is a reason for these verses, and we must take them very seriously, if this is our attitude we don’t understand these verses. These verses are not there to give us an attitude of “placing restrictions on women”; these verses instead challenge us as men to lead and honor the women around us.
We can look at the scriptures and see God’s heart for women. A Godly woman is described with eloquence and dignity throughout. We have women like Sarah, Ruth, and Esther, and many more who stand out in the history of Israel. We watch and listen as Jesus treats women with honor. They were always near ministering to him, and he to them. Paul walked with the women around him, relying on the gifts that God had given them. And there is so much more, but for times sake, I am barely even touching the surface of how the scripture describes the beauty of women. My point is I don’t believe that the majority of heroes of the faith should be men. As we see these scriptures opened up and obeyed we will see the churches littered with the heroines of the faith. There is no place for any thought that women have less to offer. The Bible screams against this and rebukes any man who contemplates this. It is not God’s heart to put restrictions on women. In the scriptures, He has provided an amazing protection of the beauty and the expressiveness that only a woman can provide. It is God’s heart for a woman to bloom, under the nourishment and protection of His word.
Our pastor has recently been talking about how Mary’s act of anointing Jesus before His death was a powerful and poignant act. In that act, one women out-theologized all the many men that were in the room. If anyone thinks because a women cannot preach or teach, she has less expression of theology they are wrong. Christ made it clear, what this woman had done would be told everywhere the Gospel was preached. By her act she has challenged both men and women over the ages wherever the Gospel has been preached. Jesus had no intention to limit this woman’s expression of theology . . . nor do the scriptures.
As men, God has called us to lead in the church, but we’d be a fool if we thought we were more than what we are, fellow servants in the Lord, co-laborers in the gospel of God’s grace, with no more influence and strength then the women around us. What Mary did was powerful and meaningful. And she out shone the men around her. A woman can express theology and influence the direction of the church in a way that a man could never do. The church cannot be all God has called it to be without the women, co-laboring with the men.
God has called us men to lead, but He has also called us to honor and cherish the women in our lives. Peter tells husbands that if they do not honor and value their wives, their prayers will not be heard. I don’t believe this just applies to a husband and a wife. If we as men do not honor and cherish the women in our church, we are in danger of having our prayers not heard. A woman has a desire to be captivating and God has left her with a means for that desire to be filled. A woman shouldn’t have to force herself on us to show her theological insight. No, instead as men, we should treat women as captivating and valued. We should seek out what their hearts and what their ideas are. We should be in awe of the insight that God has given women.
Sisters, as your brothers, we want to learn how to encourage you to express theology in the fullness of being a woman and to treat you with the eloquence and dignity that the scriptures dictate. We want you to feel valued and cherished. We want to fight for you with our prayers and actions. Not by convention; by loving you like Jesus, laying our lives down, letting our lives point to one who is truly Romantic, your Savior and Lord. May we be stripped away, so that you will see Jesus. Be patient, we still have a lot to learn, but we pursuing to learn more and grow together through God’s stunning grace in becoming men who treat you with honor, and with God’s help we will. He will grant what He commands . . . by grace alone.
May Our Eyes Always Be Upon Jesus
(written by Landon Lewis)
May our eyes always be upon Jesus,
The founder and perfecter of our faith,
So that we may not grow weary or faint
As we attempt each day to run the race.
Do not grant our eyes the chance to wander
Lest we will give in to the temptation
To stop and marvel at our endurance
Or cringe at our lack of motivation.
Direct our eyes to the one who came down
And though tempted to quit, ran for His church
In perfect, perpetual righteousness
And endured the cross to finish the work.
As our eyes behold your Son’s bloody stripes
May we rest in His race and perfect time
Because it is His hands that will carry us
And His legs that have crossed the finish line.
May God cultivate and bring your heart to full bloom,
Your brothers
Monday, November 24, 2008
Beautiful Daughters of the King
A few of the men made this for the women in my church this Friday:
Daughters of the King,
(written by Landon Lewis)
For lack of a better word I’ll declare
You blind as you look with unconcerned eyes
At your capturers but are unaware
That they already have you baited and tied.
With images of what is “beautiful”
They have brainwashed you to make you accept
That you are not physically wonderful
Because your look goes against their concept.
But dear lady I ask that you focus
Your eyes on your mirror but first your heart
To see the beauty you have failed to notice
And the outer beauty you had from the start.
If you look and are not able to see,
Open your ears and my words will set you free.
I listened as a man told a story on the radio about himself and his wife on their honeymoon. His wife had just gotten out of the shower in the morning and as she looked at herself in the mirror she began pointing out parts of her that were unattractive. Her husband walked up to her and placed his arms around her and faced her towards himself. He told her that she was insulting his wife; he would not have that. Then he gently said, “Look into my eyes.” She looked into his eyes. It was obvious in his eyes that there was no woman more beautiful. As she looked at him he said, “Let my eyes be your mirror.” . . . He would go on to tell her that throughout their marriage.
After hearing this story, I could hear Christ saying, “Look into my eyes, Let my eyes be your mirror.” I thought about this and I questioned whether or not I wanted this. I don’t want to just be told that I am loved. I want to face my sin. I want to have victory over it. I want a love that is real, not frivolous. Then I thought about Jesus’ gaze, the gaze that penetrates the deepest parts of the heart, leaving nothing unsearched. How it is stern and loving. There is no weakness to His love. He doesn’t lightly say, “I love you.” I realized that when Jesus says, “Look into my eyes”, His gaze not only searches the inmost being, but it also purifies the deepest sin.
There she stood clothed, yet naked
Before Him who looked into her
heart.
Fire and judgment stirred relentlessly
And searched . . .
She looked into His eyes and saw
severity
He did not penetrate her heart purposelessly
But was determined
She could no longer stand and fell . . .
His arms wrapped around her and
He held her close
“My child, my child, come close”
She looked into His eyes once again
And was consumed by His love.
And, and . . .
Amazed by the beauty He saw.
And yet His gaze had not changed.
As we look into His eyes, we see such great love, as He holds us in His arms and tells us that we are lovely. How could this be? A gaze so piercing and yet it contains such an enravished and gentle love, one drop being more than all the poems could contain. One drop bringing healing to our hurting heart. Such a love that makes you forget about yourself and abandon all as you are enraptured in romance of the Beloved. Now, all that matters is being with Him. Romance is at the heart of sanctification and holiness.
So let us, look into His eyes and let Him be our mirror. “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” This is not a gaze into our idea or concept of who Jesus is. But it is the gaze of a broken and contrite heart that trembles at God’s word and allows His truth to run wild and rule as a lion, without compromise. It is a humble walk before our Creator and Lord. It is a gaze that lets Christ be who He is and a gaze that allows us to be who He is creating us to be. It is the gaze that takes our breath away.
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His Marvelous light . . .” 1 Peter 2:9
(written by Landon Lewis)
Who are the sheep O’ Christ that you’d take their place
And be pierced through by your Father’s own hand
When it was they who deserved the disgrace
Because it was they who sinned through the first man?
Do you love them that much? Are you that attached?
Just because they were given didn’t mean
You had to save. The door you could have unlatched.
The darkness you could have left to be seen.
But no, you had to open their blind eyes
And take the corks out of their deafened ears
Then draw them through the door where salvation lies
And where your glory is sure to appear.
You did everything to save your own.
Daughters of the Father and beloved by the Most High, your beauty, both inner and physical, are wrapped around this, beholding Jesus. As your brothers and men, we want you to see and believe this beauty in you. The beauty that does not look at the worldly standards, which fall so short of what physical beauty is, but a physical and inner beauty so great that it defies imagination and is stunningly captivating. A beauty that is fit for the Kingdom and captures the heart of our King and your brothers.
In Him with love,
Your Brothers
Daughters of the King,
(written by Landon Lewis)
For lack of a better word I’ll declare
You blind as you look with unconcerned eyes
At your capturers but are unaware
That they already have you baited and tied.
With images of what is “beautiful”
They have brainwashed you to make you accept
That you are not physically wonderful
Because your look goes against their concept.
But dear lady I ask that you focus
Your eyes on your mirror but first your heart
To see the beauty you have failed to notice
And the outer beauty you had from the start.
If you look and are not able to see,
Open your ears and my words will set you free.
I listened as a man told a story on the radio about himself and his wife on their honeymoon. His wife had just gotten out of the shower in the morning and as she looked at herself in the mirror she began pointing out parts of her that were unattractive. Her husband walked up to her and placed his arms around her and faced her towards himself. He told her that she was insulting his wife; he would not have that. Then he gently said, “Look into my eyes.” She looked into his eyes. It was obvious in his eyes that there was no woman more beautiful. As she looked at him he said, “Let my eyes be your mirror.” . . . He would go on to tell her that throughout their marriage.
After hearing this story, I could hear Christ saying, “Look into my eyes, Let my eyes be your mirror.” I thought about this and I questioned whether or not I wanted this. I don’t want to just be told that I am loved. I want to face my sin. I want to have victory over it. I want a love that is real, not frivolous. Then I thought about Jesus’ gaze, the gaze that penetrates the deepest parts of the heart, leaving nothing unsearched. How it is stern and loving. There is no weakness to His love. He doesn’t lightly say, “I love you.” I realized that when Jesus says, “Look into my eyes”, His gaze not only searches the inmost being, but it also purifies the deepest sin.
There she stood clothed, yet naked
Before Him who looked into her
heart.
Fire and judgment stirred relentlessly
And searched . . .
She looked into His eyes and saw
severity
He did not penetrate her heart purposelessly
But was determined
She could no longer stand and fell . . .
His arms wrapped around her and
He held her close
“My child, my child, come close”
She looked into His eyes once again
And was consumed by His love.
And, and . . .
Amazed by the beauty He saw.
And yet His gaze had not changed.
As we look into His eyes, we see such great love, as He holds us in His arms and tells us that we are lovely. How could this be? A gaze so piercing and yet it contains such an enravished and gentle love, one drop being more than all the poems could contain. One drop bringing healing to our hurting heart. Such a love that makes you forget about yourself and abandon all as you are enraptured in romance of the Beloved. Now, all that matters is being with Him. Romance is at the heart of sanctification and holiness.
So let us, look into His eyes and let Him be our mirror. “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” This is not a gaze into our idea or concept of who Jesus is. But it is the gaze of a broken and contrite heart that trembles at God’s word and allows His truth to run wild and rule as a lion, without compromise. It is a humble walk before our Creator and Lord. It is a gaze that lets Christ be who He is and a gaze that allows us to be who He is creating us to be. It is the gaze that takes our breath away.
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His Marvelous light . . .” 1 Peter 2:9
(written by Landon Lewis)
Who are the sheep O’ Christ that you’d take their place
And be pierced through by your Father’s own hand
When it was they who deserved the disgrace
Because it was they who sinned through the first man?
Do you love them that much? Are you that attached?
Just because they were given didn’t mean
You had to save. The door you could have unlatched.
The darkness you could have left to be seen.
But no, you had to open their blind eyes
And take the corks out of their deafened ears
Then draw them through the door where salvation lies
And where your glory is sure to appear.
You did everything to save your own.
Daughters of the Father and beloved by the Most High, your beauty, both inner and physical, are wrapped around this, beholding Jesus. As your brothers and men, we want you to see and believe this beauty in you. The beauty that does not look at the worldly standards, which fall so short of what physical beauty is, but a physical and inner beauty so great that it defies imagination and is stunningly captivating. A beauty that is fit for the Kingdom and captures the heart of our King and your brothers.
In Him with love,
Your Brothers
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Dignity of Women
Where are the men, in these days, who believe in women? Who believe in their strength and influence? Who are willing to stand in honor of the women around them? Where are the men who believe in the dignity of women? Where are the men who believe God at His word, when the scriptures give them such high honor? Below is a quote written by a man, during a war, declaring that the women were there hope. What is said here about women should not be something that is uncommon. It should be an attitude that we as men regularly portray. I want to challenge the men to believe God's word.
For the rest of this sermon go to: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=914081731428
For the rest of this sermon go to: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=914081731428
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Dangerous arguments for the leadership of women
I have been reading and listening to arguments that are made to defend the allowing of women to have authority or over men,. I did this to challenge myself. Is what I believe about the woman's role in the church true? You see, I have no stake on either side; my heart's desire is only to be submissive to the word of God. So I want to know if there is any objective challenge to what I believe. If I am wrong I want to be corrected. And I have no fear to proven wrong, because I trust God at His word.
In reading the arguments for allowing women to lead and have authority over men, it has amazed me and shocked me to see how those who believe that women can lead and have authority argue and defend their position. As I see them present their arguments and lay out support for what they believe, it is the exact same arguments and scriptural presentation used by those who seek to prove that homosexuality is not a sin. (I am debating on whether to present this information; I want to make sure I present it well, so that it doesn't cause people to stumble. It can sound good if you're not being objective with the scripture. It scares me a little. If people are so quick to buy into these arguments when it comes to women in leadership, will they do the same with homosexuality?) I know most who make these arguments for women leadership don't know that they are same arguments that people use to defend homosexuality. And I am not accusing them of going that direction with it at all here. And I know that this error is not intentional, but it is still dangerous.
I also have not read any arguments for women having leadership over men that candidly use the scriptures within the context or meaning within which they are presented. When I read or here the arguments its like a circus act connecting points that aren't there and disconnecting points that are connected. Basically the scripture is interpreted to fit an already preconceived idea, instead coming to the scripture with no preconceived idea and allowing the scripture to define itself. Scholarly and objective presentation of scripture is not used. Because the scripture is God's word, we ought not to be afraid to approach scripture objectively and candidly and allow it to present what it says.
Also in reading a lot on this issue, on both sides, and after hearing the other side presented, I am amazed at how biased and unfair their arguments are. I can say that those who believe that women should not have leadership or authority over men, often present both sides of the issue, and after reading both sides I can tell that they honestly portray the opposing side of the argument, presenting the exact arguments of the opposing side and what they believe. They give a fair presentation of both sides of the issue, not being afraid that doing so will hinder their position. But when I read those who argue that women can lead and have authority over men (now, I am basing this on what I have seen), they will distort the opposing side and what they believe and even state that they believe something that they don't, instead of objectively presenting both sides. They basically build a straw man and tear it down. This is not a fair presentation of the issue. I don't think this is purposeful either, at least I hope it is not. I think they are hearing what the culture is telling them the opposing side is saying or they have heard people who talk who do oppress women, and they hear this instead of really listening to what the opposing side has to say. And so their arguments get distorted. So I do not mean to be harsh in saying this.
I know some might say, I am biased on this issue. What made me look at this issue more and to want to see what both sides said about this, is that I wanted to marry someone who at one time believed that women could lead. I was not about to ask her to do something that the scripture did not ask of her. I wouldn't ask any women to do that. And I was ready to be proven wrong, why should I lose a great woman over this issue? I also hate the idea of oppressing women and would not support something that did that. Like I said before, I had no stake in believing either side.
Honestly, I am shocked by this. I didn't expect to find this. Even though I might disagree with the opposing side, I did expect to find some objectivity. I am not writing this because I want to tear apart the opposing side. I'd rather not be the case. What I have written here is more of an emotional response. I am heart broken and hurt, to see the word of God used in this way, to see faith torn apart, to see such a lack of trust in God. And to see arguments that are so dangerous and that lead people away from scripture and toward things like homosexuality. I don't think its intentional and my I want to be gentle.. Emotionally, I am in a place where I am unsure how respond to it accept to say that it hurts and my heart is broken..
Friday, June 6, 2008
responding to a man's pursuit
This can be applied to men as well (and this is a general principle. I know each case can be different. And this is meant to only be a quick thought, not a full treatise about it.):
Often it is said that men should take the initiative to pursue women more. I think that this can often be true. I think one of the reasons that men don’t, however, is because of how women respond when they are not interested in being pursued. If he was her friend, she often pushes him away, and he loses her as a friend. Women, I know not every man has honor. But when a man of honor pursues you, and you say no, trust his integrity. Trust his strength (or at least God’s strength) to be able to continue to honor you as a friend. Just because a man pursues you, that is not a reason to push him away as a friend. When you treat a man this way you are telling him he is not strong. I know for me it makes me feel like I have failed, even if I have done things with integrity, because I have lost her trust in me, as a man. It may not be the end of the world, and even though my faith is not in how she responds, it still hurts. And on top of this, it is a loss of a dear friendship. Women if you want men to pursue you, then treat them like men when they do.
Often it is said that men should take the initiative to pursue women more. I think that this can often be true. I think one of the reasons that men don’t, however, is because of how women respond when they are not interested in being pursued. If he was her friend, she often pushes him away, and he loses her as a friend. Women, I know not every man has honor. But when a man of honor pursues you, and you say no, trust his integrity. Trust his strength (or at least God’s strength) to be able to continue to honor you as a friend. Just because a man pursues you, that is not a reason to push him away as a friend. When you treat a man this way you are telling him he is not strong. I know for me it makes me feel like I have failed, even if I have done things with integrity, because I have lost her trust in me, as a man. It may not be the end of the world, and even though my faith is not in how she responds, it still hurts. And on top of this, it is a loss of a dear friendship. Women if you want men to pursue you, then treat them like men when they do.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Beauty
written 2007
In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel sets down to write as he recalls “the utterance which his mother taught him”. These are the words that a mother installed into her son as a youth, and the words that he carried with him as a man. His mother taught him, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain” . . . “Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings.” She warns him not to pursue a woman based on outward appearances and pretences, but to cherish incorruptible and satisfying beauty.
As men since we were little we have been hit by the message of the world. It is the adulteress of Proverbs crying out at every corner, “come here this is what is beautiful; this is what will satisfy” (paraphrased). We so often believe these words (“With much seductive speech she persuades him”), and we chase after the lust of our eyes and follow the lures of the adulterous woman, unaware that it will cost us our life, “for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng”. It is as if we are spiritually mad, running after things that have never satisfied us, but only cause us to thirst more. And yet in our thirst, we continue in this madness; we forsake the spring of life for broken cisterns. It destroys men. Proverbs describes its end as death, Jesus describes it as hell. “It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Men, if you think a beautiful woman will satisfy your physical desires, you are sadly mistaken. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” Our hearts are made for the Lord. This culture has lied to us about what beauty is, it cries out at every corner, and we have bought into it, even in the church. We have let the world cheat us and we have settled for less than what God has for us. It should cause us to weep and be angry.
But that is not the end of this mother’s words, “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. . . “She is far more precious than jewels”. The scripture talks of a woman whose worth exceeds jewels, who is worthy of praise, and is to be honored, and who will also fully gratify all our physical longings and desires. Her beauty goes beyond the imagination of men, is captivating and fully satisfying, and meets the deepest longings of our hearts. It is incorruptible. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging of the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” This is not an outward appearance or pretence of godliness, but a deep inner walk with the Lord. It is woman who has a deep trust in the Lord and embraces womanhood.
Men, this beauty is not just spiritual, it is also physically satisfying. God does not ignore the physical aspect to beauty. God is honest about our physical longings. In Proverbs it says,
“Let your fountain be blessed,and rejoice in the wife of your youth,a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden womanand embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”
God commands us to be “intoxicated always” by the love of our wife and to be filled “at all times with delight”. God describes ones wife as beautiful, “a lovely deer, a graceful doe.” This passage is not talking about a young wife with a young body that fits with the world’s description of beauty, but a wife that has grown old with you. She may not have the body of a young woman, but she has the only body that can fully satisfy her husband. The word “fill” here means to have abundance, to be saturated, to have more than enough, to take ones fill. In other words, to have every physical longing filled and to have no need for more. Your wife will fill every physical longing you have. You may be intoxicated by the love of a forbidden woman, but her embrace will never fill your physical longings. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” To rejoice in your wife is a command of God to the men, and I don’t believe God will command something He won’t perform. If you find a godly wife, God will satisfy your every physical longing for beauty as well. It will be filled and overflowing. Men, “let your fountain be blessed”! The Lord is faithful; trust Him to fulfill what He has promised. Do not be led astray by the lies of the adulteress; by death.
This is the standard of what should attract us as men as we pursue to find a wife, physical attributes or pretenses should no longer be the standard. And it is a standard by which we are treat other women who are not our wife. It is not only our duty to have this as our standard of beauty, but it is also our delight and exceeding joy, as God transforms our definition of beauty to His, and His passions become our own. Women need this from us, the passion of God through us, declaring to them that they as women are beautiful, more precious then jewels. Oh, how “good and acceptable and perfect” is the will of God and how wonderful is His gifts to us!
I know it can be hard, we are hit by television, commercials, the media, by how women dress in our society, even walking in grocery stores with images (although much of this can be stopped, if we act as men). I grew up in this as well and it is hard for me and I struggle. But if we give in to it then we are not walking in godliness or in manhood, but instead eating the vomit of this world. What does the Bible say about this? “Therefore I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. We must ask God to transform the way we think, so that it conforms to Christ and His view of women. We as men are to demonstrate Christ’s heart and love for the women in our lives. The change must start here with us, and we must pass this on to our sons and other men, speaking to them while they are still young, defining for them what a beautiful woman is and teaching them to deny the world, the adulteress woman.
I do not think we can do this alone. I know I cannot do this alone; I definitely don’t have it all together. I need other men to walk, in honesty and openness, with me in this, to covenant with me to fight; to not look at a woman with lust. To keep me accountable and speak straight words to me when I compromise; the scripture says that we are not even to have a hint of sexual immorality. I need men to be men. God is good and He is faithful and we can give Him our hearts in this.
Women, this is not just for men, it is for you as well. Women are not innocent in their view of men. Be careful to not be lured by the trappings and pretenses of this world. Look to your Father who provides all things.
In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel sets down to write as he recalls “the utterance which his mother taught him”. These are the words that a mother installed into her son as a youth, and the words that he carried with him as a man. His mother taught him, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain” . . . “Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings.” She warns him not to pursue a woman based on outward appearances and pretences, but to cherish incorruptible and satisfying beauty.
As men since we were little we have been hit by the message of the world. It is the adulteress of Proverbs crying out at every corner, “come here this is what is beautiful; this is what will satisfy” (paraphrased). We so often believe these words (“With much seductive speech she persuades him”), and we chase after the lust of our eyes and follow the lures of the adulterous woman, unaware that it will cost us our life, “for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng”. It is as if we are spiritually mad, running after things that have never satisfied us, but only cause us to thirst more. And yet in our thirst, we continue in this madness; we forsake the spring of life for broken cisterns. It destroys men. Proverbs describes its end as death, Jesus describes it as hell. “It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Men, if you think a beautiful woman will satisfy your physical desires, you are sadly mistaken. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” Our hearts are made for the Lord. This culture has lied to us about what beauty is, it cries out at every corner, and we have bought into it, even in the church. We have let the world cheat us and we have settled for less than what God has for us. It should cause us to weep and be angry.
But that is not the end of this mother’s words, “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. . . “She is far more precious than jewels”. The scripture talks of a woman whose worth exceeds jewels, who is worthy of praise, and is to be honored, and who will also fully gratify all our physical longings and desires. Her beauty goes beyond the imagination of men, is captivating and fully satisfying, and meets the deepest longings of our hearts. It is incorruptible. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging of the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” This is not an outward appearance or pretence of godliness, but a deep inner walk with the Lord. It is woman who has a deep trust in the Lord and embraces womanhood.
Men, this beauty is not just spiritual, it is also physically satisfying. God does not ignore the physical aspect to beauty. God is honest about our physical longings. In Proverbs it says,
“Let your fountain be blessed,and rejoice in the wife of your youth,a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden womanand embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”
God commands us to be “intoxicated always” by the love of our wife and to be filled “at all times with delight”. God describes ones wife as beautiful, “a lovely deer, a graceful doe.” This passage is not talking about a young wife with a young body that fits with the world’s description of beauty, but a wife that has grown old with you. She may not have the body of a young woman, but she has the only body that can fully satisfy her husband. The word “fill” here means to have abundance, to be saturated, to have more than enough, to take ones fill. In other words, to have every physical longing filled and to have no need for more. Your wife will fill every physical longing you have. You may be intoxicated by the love of a forbidden woman, but her embrace will never fill your physical longings. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” To rejoice in your wife is a command of God to the men, and I don’t believe God will command something He won’t perform. If you find a godly wife, God will satisfy your every physical longing for beauty as well. It will be filled and overflowing. Men, “let your fountain be blessed”! The Lord is faithful; trust Him to fulfill what He has promised. Do not be led astray by the lies of the adulteress; by death.
This is the standard of what should attract us as men as we pursue to find a wife, physical attributes or pretenses should no longer be the standard. And it is a standard by which we are treat other women who are not our wife. It is not only our duty to have this as our standard of beauty, but it is also our delight and exceeding joy, as God transforms our definition of beauty to His, and His passions become our own. Women need this from us, the passion of God through us, declaring to them that they as women are beautiful, more precious then jewels. Oh, how “good and acceptable and perfect” is the will of God and how wonderful is His gifts to us!
I know it can be hard, we are hit by television, commercials, the media, by how women dress in our society, even walking in grocery stores with images (although much of this can be stopped, if we act as men). I grew up in this as well and it is hard for me and I struggle. But if we give in to it then we are not walking in godliness or in manhood, but instead eating the vomit of this world. What does the Bible say about this? “Therefore I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. We must ask God to transform the way we think, so that it conforms to Christ and His view of women. We as men are to demonstrate Christ’s heart and love for the women in our lives. The change must start here with us, and we must pass this on to our sons and other men, speaking to them while they are still young, defining for them what a beautiful woman is and teaching them to deny the world, the adulteress woman.
I do not think we can do this alone. I know I cannot do this alone; I definitely don’t have it all together. I need other men to walk, in honesty and openness, with me in this, to covenant with me to fight; to not look at a woman with lust. To keep me accountable and speak straight words to me when I compromise; the scripture says that we are not even to have a hint of sexual immorality. I need men to be men. God is good and He is faithful and we can give Him our hearts in this.
Women, this is not just for men, it is for you as well. Women are not innocent in their view of men. Be careful to not be lured by the trappings and pretenses of this world. Look to your Father who provides all things.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Women
9Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. 11A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. 14And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.
-----------------1 Timothy 2:7-15
1Timothy 2:10 rather by means of good works, as is proper for women
I think it is important to realize that Paul here is fighting against the oppression of women. They have a valued role in the church that only they can fill. No man can fill it. And if it is taken away, it is taken away at great loss to the church, who needs women to be strong. If you read Paul's writings and the rest of the scripture it is very clear that it not Paul's heart nor the heart of God to restrict women. Paul knows that there is a strength and power that God has given women and he is fighting for that. He does not want to see them stripped away of their strength, power, dignity, and influence. He is fighting for Womanhood, something that is vital for the church to be strong. Their strength is being striped away from them, when we don't believe God. It is like stripping the pedals off a flower and telling it that it must be a tree to have worth. Don't underestimate the power of a flower and don't underestimate a woman who is godly, she has the strength to capture hearts and to change the world. God is very clear that He intends a woman to have strength and dignity and influence. When we try to do this in our own wisdom we hinder the beauty that God has given women. In walking in our own wisdom we oppress women and embrace the world, instead of trusting in a God who loves us and cares for us and knows us best. Often these scriptures are approached with such a fear of loosing ones rights that all objectivity is lost, instead of aproaching God's word with confidence that He is trustworthy and what He says is for our good, and that its ok to take an honest and objective look at these scriptures. It is really ok, God is safe. God turns the strength and wisdom of this world over and destroys it with something far greater and more beautiful. He is an amazing God. And His dreams for us are so much bigger than our own. He is truly worthy of our trust.
And as a church we should be at the forefront of defending the honor and dignity of people, and this includes women. As a church we should also be encouraging people to trust and fear God and to believe His word.
For me, I have a huge longing to see women have more of a role and influence in the church and society, and my heart breaks to see the high standing that God has for women being torn down by our doubt and fear and by the oppression of the wisdom of this world. I for one believe in women and what they have to give to the church and society.
Here a site on this:
http://manhoodandwomanhood.googlepages.com/womeninthechurch
-----------------1 Timothy 2:7-15
1Timothy 2:10 rather by means of good works, as is proper for women
I think it is important to realize that Paul here is fighting against the oppression of women. They have a valued role in the church that only they can fill. No man can fill it. And if it is taken away, it is taken away at great loss to the church, who needs women to be strong. If you read Paul's writings and the rest of the scripture it is very clear that it not Paul's heart nor the heart of God to restrict women. Paul knows that there is a strength and power that God has given women and he is fighting for that. He does not want to see them stripped away of their strength, power, dignity, and influence. He is fighting for Womanhood, something that is vital for the church to be strong. Their strength is being striped away from them, when we don't believe God. It is like stripping the pedals off a flower and telling it that it must be a tree to have worth. Don't underestimate the power of a flower and don't underestimate a woman who is godly, she has the strength to capture hearts and to change the world. God is very clear that He intends a woman to have strength and dignity and influence. When we try to do this in our own wisdom we hinder the beauty that God has given women. In walking in our own wisdom we oppress women and embrace the world, instead of trusting in a God who loves us and cares for us and knows us best. Often these scriptures are approached with such a fear of loosing ones rights that all objectivity is lost, instead of aproaching God's word with confidence that He is trustworthy and what He says is for our good, and that its ok to take an honest and objective look at these scriptures. It is really ok, God is safe. God turns the strength and wisdom of this world over and destroys it with something far greater and more beautiful. He is an amazing God. And His dreams for us are so much bigger than our own. He is truly worthy of our trust.
And as a church we should be at the forefront of defending the honor and dignity of people, and this includes women. As a church we should also be encouraging people to trust and fear God and to believe His word.
For me, I have a huge longing to see women have more of a role and influence in the church and society, and my heart breaks to see the high standing that God has for women being torn down by our doubt and fear and by the oppression of the wisdom of this world. I for one believe in women and what they have to give to the church and society.
Here a site on this:
http://manhoodandwomanhood.googlepages.com/womeninthechurch
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