Assumptions causing loss of friendships

Lately, I have seen friendships lost because of assumptions. One are both parties have chosen to believe a lie and have already determined in their heart where the other party is wrong and they have already determined they are right. Without listening, they become irrational in their thinking, but tend to package it in away that at least seems rational to them. And so even though they are wrong, they think they are right and have hearts that are hard to hearing the truth. Friendships are often loss. And all this because of an assumption. This is evil and contentious. God hates this. And when we do this we are self righteous fools.

Instead of having hearts that make assumptions. Our hearts should be broken, quick to listen and ready to love, even when we are being wronged. We should be patient with others faults, listening to find out where they are at, and speaking the truth in love. . .

God knows us. He does not make assumptions. And yet He treats us with such grace.

A woman's heart

Safety of being honest with little hurts.

Many times in communication, when we avoid the little hurts, we cause the big hurts.

From the book I am reading,. . . today's reading

James 4:1-3

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people!







"When two people have conflict, it is easy to see the war on the outside. But James points out that this war is an outgrowth of a war inside each person's heart. Desires are not being met, so people lash out in an attempt to satisfy those desires. In verse 4, James goes even further. He says that people engaging in ungodly conflict have already begun to worship someone or something other than God. They are guilty of spiritual adultery, which is another way to describe idolatry. The person is giving himself to a false lover.

This simple yet profound explanation of why we do what we do can have a radical impact on a person's life. It is radical because understanding our heart's idolatry opens the door for us to appropriate and apply the gospel. We have finally gotten to the root of things; we are no longer floating on the surface. We know that God is committed to reclaiming our hearts through the work of Christ and the Holy Spirit. When we see our Thorns, they help us to detect our idols, our specific God-replacements, and our ruling desires. We see our hearts need transformation, and we are led to hunger and thirst for grace. This is exactly where James goes in verses 5-10."


Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.


"In verses 5 and 6, James says that God is a jealous lover who will not let you share your affection with anyone but him. . . .God is zealous to recapture our affections, so the Holy Spirit works to reclaim our hearts. Isn't this amazing? Most spurned lovers would not pursue the unfaithful spouse, but God pursues you. . . .

I verses 5-6, God moves toward you and in verses 7-10, he invites you to move toward him. God gives you grace at the very moment you are straying, and promises to give you even more when you repent and humble yourself before him. He loves to shower his mercy upon the humble.

An essential element of growing in grace is a willingness to look at what fuels the ungodly responses in your life. "Purify your hearts", says James. Look at what you allowed to become more attractive to you than the Lord. "Wash your hands," he continues. Exchange your sinful responses for godly ones. . . ."

(quotes form "How People Change" by Lane and Tripp)

To forgive - Do we believe?

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:23,24

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13

Why is that we don’t believe? When our hearts are hurt, we run, we hide, we push others away, but we don’t believe. God has called us to forgive. God has called us to love. God has called us to love even in the hardships and the hurts and when we are sinned against. He has called us to love when love is not returned. He has called us to love our enemies. He has called us to this, not because we are capable of loving or bearing the hurt and pain and suffering, but because He is our refuge and He knows our hurt and pain and our broken heart. And He knows what it takes to heal our hearts. It takes being near Him and making Him our refuge. When we push others away and choose not to forgive, we disobey God, who has called us to grow in love, and we run away from trusting God to be our shelter in the pain. We cannot fully heal till we have forgiven. And even in those situations where it seems impossible to forgive, there is a God full of compassion, who longs to walk along side with us, who longs to hold us and to be with us and to give us the strength to live. We can live our lives seeking to protect ourselves or we can allow God to protect us to be our shelter. So do we believe? Our we willing to trust, and to love, and to forgive?

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." – Matthew 18

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. – Luke 6

Read this : Love is worth fighting for

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

I wrote earlier on the need for men to be brothers, men who will honor women in the Lord, not just look for a wife. Brothers must be men who protect and encourage the women around them. However, this responsibility is not the major domain of brothers. Instead most of the weight of encouraging and protecting women fall on fathers and mothers. As brothers, we encourage and protect our sisters under the covering of older men and women. More than needing brothers, women need fathers and mothers to be their protectors and encouragers. As brothers, we must remember that it is not our job to replace this covering, but to submit to it, and to encourage women to find this. If we point to ourselves to be this, we have failed. I want to encourage the women to find older women, older couples to be a covering for them.


For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

A good and pleasant life is found when we are together

Psalm 133: A Song of Ascents. Of David.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
life forevermore.

I think if we want what is good and pleasant, if we want the blessing. We must press in to love each other, even in difficult circumstances. Even in the most broken of circumstances. Even when we have wronged each other. Even when we are afraid. Healing is not found in running from hard situations, but running toward each other in love. A good and pleasant life is found when we choose to love and live together and walk through hardships together.

I think it is hard sometimes, because our hearts are involved. When we pursue love our hearts become vulnerable. And its scary because we don't know if we can hold up. Here is the thing, we are not any good at protecting our hearts. It doesn't work. But when we pursue and run after God abandoning our hearts to Him, and we pursue to love others in His strength, He upholds us and becomes our refuge and strength. He is also our healer and our rescuer.


"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

The cost of loving others

When Christ said that there is not greater love than one who lays down his life for another and commanded us to love as He has loved us. He meant it. Loving others will cost us our life. We must lay it down to love.

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4

Men, we must be men who pursue our wives, not in the passions of our desire or in the arena of social agendas or church events or relationships, but instead on our knees in prayer, and in the word and with accountability with other men. As we develop relationships with our sisters, our intentions should be to build them up and encourage them as brothers. Its ok to get to know a woman, I think we can be so concerned about our motivations that we create an unhealthy wall between us and our sisters, but its not ok to do so in a way that takes her. As a brother you should seek her best, to learn how to encourage her in the Lord. This means realizing that in your relationship with a woman that she needs a brother, first. I think when we are attracted to a woman; we can make getting to know her a means to find out if she is the one, instead of honestly just trying to get to know her. When in reality she doesn’t need to fit our concept of what we want her to be, she is the Lord’s and serves him and not us. And so as we get to know our sisters, we need to encourage them in what God is doing in their lives, not try to figure out how they fit our own plan. There may be times that you find your self desiring to pursue a woman, but because you are seeking a wife on your knees and with accountability from other men, you know that pursuing her is not what is best for her. And as a brother you have to deny your desires and continue to encourage her in what God is doing in her life. Love is often laying down your own desires for another. If we are to pursue marriage, God will show us this on our knees, not in us trying to figure it out in the confusion and messiness of our feelings and social agendas. In our interactions with other women we need to allow them to be who God is making them to be. I don’t want a woman to feel like she has to jump through the hoops of my agenda in order to be beautiful. And I don’t want her to feel like she has to compare herself to other women (Which is why I want to learn to treat all my sisters well and equally beautiful). God has made her beautiful and I want to encourage that beauty.

Men, when you are a man that pursues a woman on your knees and in the word and with accountability, it allows the women to feel safe, because they know that your relationships with them are for the purpose of encouraging them and building them up because they are beautiful, not to determine whether they are beautiful. They also know that they can count on you as a brother, because you are willing to lay down your desires for them, even when it hurts. And they know that in your pursuit of a wife, your not holding up a standard that they have to live up to, but are waiting on the Lord for His council on who to pursue. And they know that the determination of whether you are pursuing them as a wife is not because they don’t measure up and it is not dependent on some standard that they must live up to, but because you are a man on your knees, seeking God’s will with integrity from a sincere and solid desire to hear the Lord. So instead of following your passions, you stand in integrity and love with the heart of God.

I know some amazing women. And I know for myself that as I pursue a wife this way, I can honestly say that in my flesh I might pursue them and the reason I am not pursuing them is not because they are not worthy or physically beautiful, but because I must follow the Lord. And it would break my heart if they felt like they were not worthy or beautiful, because that is so far from the truth. And I hope that as I walk in the solid foundation of seeking a wife on my knees, that that security and strength will encourage my sisters in the Lord. I believe that as men stand in integrity of who God is, women will feel beautiful and cherished. There will still be hurt and messy relationships because we live in a sinful world, but the more we stand as men the more we can point to the One who provides security in midst of this messed up world and emotions.

For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3

I believe that women need the men to be strong godly brothers, who are a part of their lives. But let me be clear, this does not mean that we chase girls or use this as an excuse to pursue a girl that we like under the disguise of being “a brother”. A man who pursues a relationship with a women to just take her is not a brother. To those guys who would do this, let me say this straight out – you are a jerk, and God is not at all amused by this kind of behavior. And I hope the men around you won’t be either. Also I want to say to the men around me. I don’t think I am perfect and I hope that if you see me do this you will come around me and tell me that I am a jerk and help me to get back on track.

Even when, as men, our intentions are noble, we still have to keep in mind that there are boundary lines that we do not need to cross. Showing a woman that she is cherished means protecting her. You cannot make her feel beautiful and non-protected at the same time. And so in the way that we relate to her, we must include protecting her heart and not crossing those boundaries. As we become men of integrity, not just in our relationship with them, but also in life, women feel beautiful. Let me say this again, when men are the kind of men who stand on God’s word, women feel beautiful and secure. So men, if you want women to know that they are beautiful, become men who are noble, grounded in God’s word, and live a life of integrity. Become men who are safe, who able to protect the women around them. Become men, with whom they know will not follow the passions of their heart, but are seeking to stand on the heart of God and are therefore worthy protectors.

For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2

I remember talking with one of my sisters while she was going through a hard time. She wanted to know that she was beautiful. She wanted to know that she was lovely and that she was loved. Talking with her and hearing the stuff she was going through tore my heart, because I knew she was beautiful and loved. If you get a chance to listen to her talk about her fond memories about her brothers, they are stories about how her brothers protected her and watched over her. Unfortunately, because of a broken home, those times were not as often as they should have been. But those times with her brothers were the deep desires of her heart.

God has been teaching me that women need good men in the church to step up and be fathers and brothers to them to be able to fill some of those heart needs. They need men who are safe and who will honor and cherish them as daughters and sisters in the Lord. They need real fathers and brothers who will become involved with their lives and walk along side them and show them that they are beautiful and lovely and loved.

Look at: Biblical womanhood video

Also look at: On being found beautiful

And: Biblical womanhood video

For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

It takes a community to know someone

"In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles [Williams] is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's [Tolkien's] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him "to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald . . . In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious "nearness by resemblance" to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying "Holy, Holy, Holy" to one another (Isaiah 6:3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have."

--C.S. Lewis

hurt by others

Sometimes when we are hurt by others, even if we have done nothing wrong, we discover that the person that needs to change is ourselves.

Can there be Friendship after Courtship

Just a quick note, I don't feel like I have written this very well. I hope to someday come back and rewrite it and better explain. I have decided to leave it though, because it is something that does need to be heard, and I hope people will hear the meat of this message.



The scripture exhorts us to treat each other as brothers and sisters and to encourage each other in the Lord. The scripture does not qualify this. In fact, we are called to grow in love. I believe when a courtship ends a friendship continues and grows. It does not end. Courtship is a time of determining God’s will for marriage between a woman and a man, however if that courtship ends, the pursuit of God’s will still continues. And it is God’s will that we continue to treat each other as brothers and sisters in the Lord, honoring each other and growing in love.

I have often been told that after a courting relationship that you can’t be friends. I don’t believe this. It contradicts the scriptures encouragement to grow in love. God has called us to a greater love than the world and a greater wisdom then the world’s. I think it is sad, how couples can treat each other after breaking up. I want to learn how to love my sister, in those situations. Why should I settle for less, knowing that God is with me? Listen, I know this is hard. I really do, I struggle as anyone else does. God’s way is often not always the easy way, but the way faith and trust. But it is always the better way. This requires learning to love with agape love. And agape love is something I don’t think I will ever regret. We could make excuses and say, “Yeh, but. . .what about this” I would say, “Yeh, but we only have this life as an opportunity to live these things out, to show God’s glory and to love each other in these situations. Let us be committed to press in and love each other with an agape love.” I don’t want to waste my life saying, "Yeh, but . . . ". Instead, I want to walk by faith, loving my brothers and sisters. I think we often run away, instead of standing in faith and love, committing our relationships to the Lord and laying our hearts and our relationships at His feet.

I came across this a few years ago:

“Properly define success. As Joshua Harris points out in his article, a courtship that leads a couple to engagement and marriage is not necessarily any more successful than a courtship that leaves the couple wiser but still single. Remember that the purpose of courtship is to seek God's will, not merely to get married. For this reason, a courtship God does not lead to marriage may not be a tragedy at all, and the church must be careful not to react as if it were. Singles whose courtships have ended short of engagement inevitably suffer disappointment and pain. When your heart is drawn toward romance, there is no way to render that relationship totally free of risk. But, because courtship balances passionate feelings with wisdom and discretion, singles can often withdraw from a courtship with hearts that have been bruised but not seriously wounded.

Few events can help a church grasp the real meaning of courtship better than one that ends without a proposal, but full of grace. What a witness these trying situations can be to a watching world! When the church is able to see God's goodness in these testimonies as clearly as it does in stories of dreamy proposals and teary weddings, it demonstrates a solid grasp of what successful courtship is all about.”

God is glorified when we chose to walk by faith and to love each other with an agape love. This is a witness to the world of the power of God. And this is a witness to ourselves that He is good in all things. Continuing a friendship after courtship will look different for different people, but the idea of continuing to grow in friendship and in love should always be there. If your heart is the Lord’s and you have surrendered the relationship to the Lord, He will lead you. He is a good shepherd. He is a good Father. He leads us perfectly, even when we are not perfect.

Continuing a friendship after a courtship does take a lot of maturity and faith. Relationships take a lot of work and learning to communicate, even without a courtship. It also takes a lot of prayer, reading the word, and Godly counsel. It’s work. I haven’t read it yet, but I have heard of a book called “Relationships, a mess worth making”. I completely believe this. I think after ending a courtship, it’s hard and it is difficult to remain and to grow in friendship. I think because it is difficult, people often choose to shut off their hearts, instead of going through a difficult period of readjusting to friendship. This takes agape love, a choosing to love, even in the hardships, and a choosing to trust God when your heart is being torn. But it is a mess worth making. It is so worth it – learning to love others as God intended us to love.

I said that I know it is hard. I know this from experience. I had just asked a girl, if I could pursue her in marriage. We had courted and returned to friendship for a year at the time and had had a healthy friendship for years (only a small part of that was courting). She said, “No”. It hurt. But God had spoken clearly, that He had called me to continue to love her as a friend. I knew this would be difficult, because the more I got to know her the more I wanted to pursue her. But I knew that this was God’s will for me, and I said “Yes”, trusting the Lord that he would hold my heart. So I gave my heart to the Lord, and chose to love her as a friend. And as I have surrendered my heart to the Lord, he has given me an agape love for her and the strength to obey Him and He has protected my heart as well. I can say that in obeying God and in surrendering my heart to Him, God is using this to teach me to love others in a deeper way. I am learning to love beyond the emotions. And I am thankful for the work God is doing in my heart. It has given me a deeper strength and determination to love others. I still have a lot to learn, but taking that step of believing God’s word, that he has called me to love, even when it is hard, has taught me so much. He has commanded me to love her as my sister, and I don’t regret that. Agape love is not something you regret.

Choosing to love and continuing to be a friend, doesn’t mean that the other person will want to continue to be a friend. They may only want a casual friendship of just being friends because your supposed to be, but without any real substance. They may back off, they may stop trusting in the friendship you once had. They may stop valuing you or respecting you. They may push you away. We live in a fallen world and no matter how much you honor someone and love them with agape love; they may not want to continue to grow in friendship. Don’t let your heart get bitter. And don't be quick to assume, the person may not even realize what they are doing. They may just be hurt. Or it just may be that at this time your not communicating very well. Sometimes when someone has wronged you it is best to be patient and continue to believe in them. Continue to honor them as a friend and to encourage them in the Lord. The scripture says that love is patient, not self seeking.

I have been on the other end, too; where I have had to say “no” to others who liked me. For me when a girl likes me, it is an honor. I feel blessed, because who am I that a girl would consider me worthy of being considered as someone she might marry. To me that is just amazing. So I don’t understand why or how someone could just push someone away that just honored them in this way. That to me is ridiculous. Yes, you want to protect their hearts, but pushing them away is not protecting their hearts. It’s treating them like their dirt. It’s disobeying God’s command to treat them as sisters. If a girl comes to me and lets me know that she likes me, one of the things that I try to establish with them is that, even though I have to say, “no”, I still deeply value them as a friend, and I am not going to treat them different just because I just found out that they liked me. I want to communicate to them the security that God has established in our sister-brother relationship. I let them know that to me it is not awkward and they don’t have to feel awkward around me. They are my friend and my sister and that has not changed. In these situations it is important that I am sensitive to what she is feeling and where she is at. I need to find out how I can protect her heart and encourage her as a friend and a brother. She may say, you know, when you do this it really draws out my heart, please, don't do that. And that is totally, ok. It may be that they need some time away, and that’s ok, too, just let them know that their value to you has not changed and you will their as a brother and friend when they are ready. The key is learning how to respond in a way that encourages the other person in love and looks to their interests and grows the friendship and your relationship as brothers and sisters. I can say this. I am thankful for the girls who have liked me and have decided to continue to be friends with me. I can’t imagine not being friends with them. They are my friends and my honored sisters.

Running from the pain

Official first blog of the year :)

This year or so has been a year of learning that you can't run away from pain. The other day, I had something really tough happen to me that ripped my heart out. I don't know if it will ever get repaired. I haven't even figured out how to talk about it. I don't know that I want to. But right after that incident, I got hit with a ton of bricks. I went and sat in a place where the tv was turned on. On the show, there was a young child, whose parents had died violently. With his parents gone, he now had the responsibility of looking after his three younger siblings. He would often go without just so that they could eat. I just wanted to weep. How does a heart respond to that? How can a heart take it? I cried out to God, I want to be there, but I don't know if my heart can take it. I can't, I can't even take my own pain. But I think life is more than trying to be able to handle it. I don't know that we are always supposed to be able to handle it. Am I going to turn away my heart just because I can't sleep at night? No, I am going to press into the firm foundation that is Christ and I take the beating and weather the storm. By God's grace I will not run. I believe in life I can either protect my hear in relationships, situations, and hardships, or I can love. Love doesn't protect itself from pain, it loves even in the pain. It does not run away.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12
1 Corinthians 1:8-10
1 Corinthians 13
Hebrews 12:28-29
Luke 4:18,19

Don’t be afraid to pursue a woman

Here is a link on some of my thoughts on pursuing a wife: Courting

Love them as I have loved you

A letter written to a friend July 21, 2005

I wrote this in my journal right before you asked me to pray for you last night:

"This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you." - John 15

This gives us a glimpse into the heart and life of Jesus and how he treated those around Him. They must have been shown much love by Jesus, because they showed much love for one another. Christ loved personally those around Him.

Abba, put this heart in me, allow me to faithfully and fully invest in the lives around me. Let me hold nothing back nor hold on to things that are fleeting, but abandon my life to give. Reveal to me your love. Let me come close to the love of Jesus, in a real and personal and intimate way."

I need prayer for the same thing, to be able to come face to face with the reality of Jesus's love, to experience His tenderness and strength of love, the lion and the lamb. I need to know a love bigger than my own.

Pray fervently for both of us,

Your brother

Saying, "I love you"

There was a little talk, tonight about saying, "I love you" to someone you just started dating. Now, I don't mind saying this to my brothers and sisters in the Lord, but I do believe in a courtship relationship, what I communicate to the girl should reflect my commitment to her; and therefore, I will probably not say these words till I am committed to marriage. In the courtship that I had recently, I found this to be healthy, not just from the perspective of protecting her heart, but also in learning how to communicate with her. I also refused to touch her. It was good. I couldn't just revert to a simple, "I love you" or embrace her. I had to learn to tell her that she was special and that I cared for her in creative and healthy ways. I gained so much. I had to learn to communicate, something that takes work and makes a marriage stronger. Anyways, this something to think about, what do we cultivate in our relationships?

perspective of an outsider

When I was overseas, I was told what to expect about the culture I was entering. Although it was helpful, what I heard was from the perspective of an outsider, and I had to throw a lot of it out. I learned very quickly that I had to get to know the people that I encountered and lived life with, and not an analytic societal evaluation of who they were. I had to allow them to teach me who they were and on my part join them and live life with them.

How often do I not really get to know someone, because I think I already know. We assume someone is angry, sad, needy, weird, depressed, antisocial, or whatever. I assume the socially awkward person will be a burden, or perhaps, I assume I will be the burden to someone and don't reach out. I think I assume a lot, when perhaps I should be learning to love others and making an effort to get to know them, getting in the mud and living life with them. Listening and loving more than coming to conclusions. And when I speak; speaking the truth in love, not assumptions.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body."
--Proverbs 16:24